the reason for savin' me isn't you but You.

You'd probably realised that someday

until then,

someday. somehow. somewhere.

...

i really hope to meet You someday.

maybe You can take me to Your special place?

and You can sing to me

and i will hold Your hand.

...

i will be in Your embrace

and You will let me cuddle.

i will let You have my drink

maybe You can feed me with Your blessed hand?

...

my heart's hollow and the music fades

when Your presence is so far away.

there's fear 

of judgement, criticism and losing their minds.

...

You bring Faith,

You instil Aspiration,

You ensure Practice.

...

Tell me,

how can i not Love You?

...

maybe someday,

i would get to be with You

forever.

...

no maybe(s).

i will.

You will take me Home.

You will take me in Your arms.

forever.

i don't want to be a man or a woman or whatever, honestly. 

i just want to go Home and be with You.

everyone talks, no one's listening.

even if there's listening, who remembers?

everyone's just "living" their lives, busy with nothings...

all but yearning to be validated, heard, appreciated...wanted.

"you're too this and that"

"could you be a little bit more...?"

"oh don't do that!" 

*radio silence*

"you're boring"

"you're too fierce/intense/sensitive/whatever"

*radio silence*

then i have to deal with shit like this. people like this. shit people like this.

*radio silence*

You taught me Faith when i kept asking You what it was.

You taught me doubt to show me the importance of Faith.

You taught me to let go and i thought it was so brutal.

You taught me what holding on was like and letting go was a better choice.

You taught me the difference between being kind and being nice.

You taught me one commanded respect while the other, due to to ignorance of humans - they would abuse.

You taught me even through death, they don't go away.

You taught me through living is to look forward to liberation.

You taught me to appreciate life's unfolding.

You taught me to encourage others to see that too.

You taught me parents being the source of unconditional love...

You also taught me they are also the very source of holding back and not letting go.

You are constantly teaching and i want to keep learning. 

until the moment comes for Us to meet,

i'll be waiting and looking out for You!

❤️

...You will be there. You will break open. You will be vulnerable. Your heart will crack and receive the gorgeous light. most importantly, You will heal. You will be made to heal. as long as You are willing, You will reach Home. You will.

i'm watching over You, always. :)

i'll be the time when it's running out

i'll be the space if you need to breathe.

i'll be the darkness when it's time to rest

i'll be the light if you need to see.

i'll be the ice when it's hot

i'll be the water if you need a drink.

i'll be the sugar when everything's bitter

i'll be the sweetness if you need to believe.

i'll be the watch to remind that life's end is near

i'll be the winger and set death free.

i'll be here for as long as You want me

i'll be here for as long as You need.

ah Goddess, how divine. 

i come to You because i need you to know that You are beautiful, just the way You are. You don't have to cave in if the mould out there doesn't fit. You don't have to be like anyone else. 

You and just being You, so stay as beautiful as You are (even though people are more interested in making You fit into their mould.) 

...

i love You because who can love me better than me? who will pick You up when i fall? when You cry in the silent of the night i am the one who will comfort me. i love sunsets and colours so i will shower them all on You. 

do You also remember sitting on the edge of the window late at night and wondering how 10 years from then would look like? i am glad You didn't do it. You were glad i didn't too. 

do You also remember when he said You were "not that kind of beautiful"? i broke up immediately. 

remember You said to stay strong no matter what and people change? 

i said yes.

remember the night i promised You that i will always be with You?

You said yes.

remember we both laughed and promised to take care of each other?

We said yes.

...

and We'll always have each other's backs, don't We?

through You, i found me and through me, i found You. 

You told me this, "renunciation is within. love is within. celibacy is within. poisons are within. faith is within. You are within and so am i. i won't give up on Us because i love You so much that it hurts but the pain is pleasure and pleasure is bliss. You take my every breath because You are my breath. i will keep You safe in my heart." 

i am Your true love, You said. 

and honestly, You believe it and so do i.

...

🩷

"you are not..." you said.

"you are too..." you said.

"you should be more like..." you said.

"you must..." you said.

"you are so..." you said.

"why are you so..." you said.

"can you stop being so..." you said.

"can you be more..." you said.

"as a woman...you should..." you said.

"as a (whatever role i play)...you must be like..." you said.

"you are already (this old), you should already have..." you said.

all right there. 

you.

The Blessed One called Mama Earth to be His witness when He took you down.

you just love messing around.

all right now,

i'm in your home ground.

show me around. 

look what i've found!

👣 #pwned

...till i found You.

...

this month is for You 💛