just hanging out

some wine and dine

songs and fire, maybe?

laughter and intimacy, definitely!

buenos días, Aju!

i love You! 💕

thank You for coming into my life

showing me the way forward

relaxing me into the present

and guiding me from the past.

Your Love and Light

is my north star

when i see You

i see Home.

no mere human words can ever express my human gratitude and love for You

because You are immeasurable.

Your being in itself is inexorable.

essentially, You are impeccable Perfection.

Aju~💛

i

love

You! 

...and how others define Guru is really insignificant because this relationship, this sacred relationship is wayyyyyyy too profound to even have a definition. i can't even describe. it's just there. 

it just, is. 

and this is truest and purest unconditional Love. 

and i am utterly grateful to have met and found Him.

cheers to never giving up and trusting the journey.

and through Him, i found Everyone. how amazing is that??!!

and i love Him so much 💛

...

despite the differences, look closely...we're not too different after all. 

grief, just like all other emotions, is powerful. it cracks the heart wide open, vulnerable but at the same time - free. there's suddenly so much spaciousness. everything that was kept inside begin to flow. 

there are no barriers because the excruciating emotion called pain has knocked them all down. collapsed. smithereens. pieces. chunks. 

and all that is left is a gaping hole. 

just close your eyes and breathe. let the tears flow and the smile come through when you think back of the times together and also, not together. we had those moments, didn't we?

i need to grieve.

you need to grieve.

we need to grieve.

for losses and also for the impending gains.

...

grief, just like all phenomena, is impermanent too. it comes and goes. sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. sometimes it triggers a memory, sometimes it brings you wishes and hopes...

but,

it's not about stifling and fighting

it's not about trying to move on

it's not about burying and immersing

...with other more phenomena

but,

to grieve - close your eyes and breathe. let the tears flow and the numbness go. release. release. release...with each breath you take.

...

i will grieve again someday for i have already grieved the losses and the impending gains. and you will too - grieve someday over your losses and impending gains. till then, repose the Faith.

today is one of those days when the skies are sunny one moment and cloudy the next. a few moments later, there's a heavy thunderstorm and then the sun peeks out a little and go into its hiding again. 

the wind just keeps breezing through until it runs out of breath and it stops. well, it didn't stop per se but rather, it's taking a deep deep deep breath.

nature is also meditating, i thought to myself. 

suddenly, She decides to let go and everything in its path shifts. even the little sunbird got a shock and flutter its wings, flowing in the direction of Mama Nature's breath.

and i simply allow Mama Nature to run Her fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp. ahhhhh...relaxing. sometimes, there's gentle caresses on my cheeks or fierce watery kisses moistening my face. today's episode was the latter. 

after settling some chores, i got out of my house and just stood outside, watching and feeling Mama Nature going about Her usuals. i watched her play and dance, sing and whisper...sometimes, She taps my head and asks me to pick which part of Her touched me while sometimes, She would just linger, getting me to practice breathing with Her. many a times, we just sit and chat. giggling like silly girls gossiping about boys and men. 

...

so today She said, "you know there's a difference between gratification and validation." i looked at Her and wanted Her to elaborate, as usual. i just love listening to Her. 

"gratification and validation are forms of wanting something. both are sense of cravings, however, gratification has a satiety note to it. imagine an itch that you just got to scratch, and when you actually touch and scratch the itchy spot...darn, it feels good."

i looked at Her and whispered under my breath, "Mama, You make me feel good."

She gave me to cheeky grin and told me not to start. We laughed.

"how about validation?" i asked.

"well, you just did. you just validated what I said. it's about feeling good and also about recognition. sometimes appreciation but mainly awareness and bringing to a conscious level."

She held Her breath briefly and spoke slowly but with tenderness, "culture. essence. again, do they know the subtle differences?" She gave me a soft peck on my cheek, "conversation for another day, love. meantime, what's Love got to do with it?"

She began twirling and swaying in the opposite direction.

...

"when the heart has been broken so many times, anger dissipates and pain  disappears. what is another heartbreak? what is another ending? this muscle  no longer attaches but flexes as it should. embracing for what's here and  holding space for memories. every heart break allows the muscle to do its  thing. heart breaks are pre-requisites for releasing and building a bigger  muscle to hold more love."  ~ Mama Earth

Love transcends meaning

because true Love carries no meaning

and it's not because It means nothing

but in essence, It means everything.

okay. the next four years. the impact is going to be drastic and great but i'm curious to see how the world is going to shift. however the point of today's post is not going to be this - rather, i want to write about mr. trump's ability to take bullshit and turn them into gold.

yes.

for all the critics and well, news, about him...and endless articles about doomsday and articles after articles questioning his leadership...i can't help but to take some time to meditate on his successes (in winning the presidential election, in his multi-billion business ventures and also, his support with the people who hold sway in this physical world.) 

and quite honestly, there is a layer of curiosity and respect there, from me. so, before you jump into an assumption that you think i support mr. trump, i don't. in fact, i don't support anyone politically because i do not have any interest in it. 

personally, politics is ever-changing. as much anything man-made. so, it will come and go. just like that. anyway, back to my point:

he takes all the critics, all the sarcasm, all the bullshit & turn them into opportunities, into investments, into gold. 

this. this is something that i feel that we all can learn from mr. trump.

how many times when we are criticised, taken down, torn down, rip apart...by people who did not believe in our capabilities and decided to project their own inferiorities onto us - just so that we can stay hidden and be fearful, doubt, lose faith in ourselves and everything that we are capable of?

okay now, i do not condone actions that hurt ourselves and others but rather, what i am driving at is mr. trump's ability to take the nasties and turn them into something that worked for him, thus, achieving his vision, his dreams and his goals. that, is something i feel that we all can learn from. his motivation to come back even stronger than before is fantastic, to say the least. and for that, i applaud him. those years that he had taken the back seat, he wasn't just sitting there, idling away but rather, i believe he was studying and plotting his next chess move for his eventual checkmate (and he did checkmated with 49.79% margin versus his 2016 margin of 46.09%) 

and his confidence in presenting his motion is something that we can learn about trusting our intuition, analysis, foresight, forward thinking and vision. having faith in our own capabilities of what we can achieve and the people that we want to have in the team to drive and achieve your goals...honestly, this is his "trump" card, which he finally decided to show hand in this year's presidential election. 

since Buddhism also consist a path of transformation, i think mr. trump has definitely displayed that and this is quite frankly, something that we can learn from him and put it into good use in our lives.

for us ordinary beings, it can be as simple (and mundane) as struggling to take up a new hobby or can't decide if we should stay or leave, we need to develop mr. trump's layers of carapace to help us push through difficult times especially when we may not have any support from our loved ones or even people that we look up to (like our seniors/bosses/teachers etc) to guide us forward or help us reach a decision.

before i end today's post, i'd like to say this - harm no one. yes, not even yourself and i extend this statement to all mother sentient beings. if we are able to take mr. trump's actions and use them to create gold for the people around us (and also ourselves), why not?